I eloped as a starry-eyed twenty-something whose belief system was that “love conquered all.” Over the years, I came to faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord, and came to believe strongly in God’s pre-Fall, covenental establishment of marriage as a divine institution. As a woman, I wanted to be the “helper fit” for my husband in the form of a counterpart, companion, and co-laborer.
However, 20 years in, when my husband and I ended up in separate bedrooms with divorce lawyers, I thought “the world, the flesh, and the devil” had taken dominion and was about to swallow my marriage alive.
I was convinced I had been duped into marrying a selfish, unbelieving, narcissist, and there was no way forward. I was exhausted, heartbroken, and out of options. Yet, as a Christian, I knew I didn’t have biblical rationale to divorce. I was keenly aware of Ephesians 5:33: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” At that time, my marriage felt far from loving and respectful in any way, shape, or form.
I wanted to live in an authentic, honoring, faith-filled, gentle, and sacrifical marriage. Being a subservient doormat wasn’t an option - neither was being a “contentious woman.”
I felt stuck between desiring to honor the LORD and my wedding vows, and feeling suffocatingly trapped. A life of doing “all the things” – homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, fostering and then adopting children – after losing two of our precious biological children due to genetic illness – had taken a severe toll on my mental, physical, and spiritual strength. I felt alone and, sometimes ashamed, of the woman I’d become.
We tried pastoral and biblical counseling. Both helped, and neighter brought us closer to reconciliation.
I prayed fervently for a miracle—and receiced an unexpected answer that changed everything.
The Turning Point
I discovered Laura Doyle’s Six Intimacy Skills™, and something inside me shifted. Instead of trying to change my husband or prove that I was right, I started focusing on the one person I could change—myself.
Philippians 2:13 states, “…for it is God Who works in you to will and to do for His good purposes.”
I wanted to learn how to surrender the “doing, doing, doing” mentality and the control and disrespect and center my faith on trusting the LORD and obeying His holy will for my life.
With hours and hours of coaching, I learned to use my feminine strengths in ways I never had before. I stopped criticizing. I started receiving. I rediscovered the woman my husband had fallen in love with—and she had been there all along.
“I used my faith, feminine strengths and the Intimacy Skills™ to save my marriage—and my husband agrees!”
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the LORD forgave you. And over all these vitrues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” - Colossians 3:13, 14.
A New Marriage
The transformation wasn’t overnight, but it was real. My marriage went from cold and hopeless to warm, passionate, and playful. My husband went from feeling like a distant roommate to being my biggest supporter and protector.
Today, our marriage is characterized by faithfulness,tenderness, passion, and fun. We laugh together. We dream together. We are truly best friends again.
Why I Coach
I became a Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach because I know what it feels like to be in that dark, hopeless place—and I know there’s a way out. I’ve lived it.
Now I help other women discover the same transformation I experienced. You don’t need your husband’s cooperation. You don’t need couples counseling. You just need the right skills and someone in your corner who truly understands.
As a Laura Doyle Campus Coach, as in this space, I maintain a strict adherence to her coaching methodology. On this my independent site, however, I am free and comfortable to connect over a shared desire to, “…know Christ-yes, to know the power of His resurrection…” Phil. 3:10a.
If I can stand on The Rock of faith for my marriage, I just know you can too.
I’d love to talk with you about what’s possible. Reach out for a free discovery call and let’s get started.
